~ Letting you go ~

I always think about letting you go. Always. And it has been hard for the past years. Although I always say that I don’t have any interest in your life, I used to. A lot. Although I keep pushing you away, it seems that has not been enough. I keep repeating to myself over and over again that you are no good at all and that we have absolutely nothing in common, but we do: we never let each other go.

I already stopped answering your calls. I already pretended that you weren’t at the same place I was. I kept avoiding places and parties to not see you. And as nothing was working, I decided to restart to go to the same parties and be at the same places as you.

And even though now I don’t give a dam to you and to what you have been doing lately, you still are really stubborn and keep calling me. If I don’t answer you, you call from somebody else’s phone, so I answer it and you can say that this is the only way you find to talk to me. And you inquire me to tell you the reasons why I haven’t been answering you lately. Why is that? You really don’t know, huh? I wonder.

It used to bother me that much. It used to make me upset and thoughtful. Not anymore.

I was impressed by the last time when you called me and after I answered you for the second time, I felt nothing. I didn’t miss you. I didn’t hate you. I just wondered why you called me. And you never answered this question.

Now I really decided to take you out of my life forever. It is useless to tell you my decision, so that’s why again I won’t, but, for the first time, I’m pretty sure that this is the best for me. And for you. Actually, for both of us together. No more tears. Memories will always be kept… inside a box, where they do belong.

I used to love you like I never loved anyone before. It was so strong that could become harmful and painful to feel. It could be the most beautiful thing. And I learned how to deal with it and with all the bad tastes in my mouth. And in my heart.

But now I’m pleased to say that everything is gone and although a lot of tears were dropped, I have no regrets. Maybe the only thing I’m regretful for is that I allowed you to steal the magic that some situations should have and they don’t have anymore. You just took this away from me. And that’s it.

After all that, I just decided that it’s finally time to let you go. I asked it with all my strength to some little ones who are important for me and in who I strongly believe.

I hope my wishes come true. And that you become very happy in your life, away from me.